spew, technology


The most vocal defenders of a certain smartphone platform that accommodates carrier restrictions before the user experience are making lots of the same excuses for it that they made about their choice of desktop, way back while that very choice — with cavalier neglect — was helping midwife the current malware industry that now inflicts itself upon everyone.

Those same new defenders take justifiable pride in having learned how to jailbreak, apply workarounds, fiddle with task managers, run anti-malware utilities, and carry around a bandolier full of spare battery packs. After having chosen from a selection of devices, each of which boast UI variations mandated by the OS licensee. Just what the consumer market needed.

Yes, you finally made it all work. You are formidable and fearsome. And you’re missing the point.

I sincerely hope you enjoy your latter-day-steampunk hobby keeping all of this functional. I want you to enjoy needing to find a new phone sooner because your current one won’t update with the new features you’ll want when you see the preview. Enjoy wasting your valuable energy, time, and intellect solving problems which have already been solved elsewhere. Enjoy being An IT Department of One.™

Knock yourselves out. You’re a minority that often sounds as though you believe you speak for everyone. You don’t. Lots of consumers are tired of all this. Very tired. Especially after having learned it’s no longer necessary.

I know some of you stalwart rebels personally, and I marvel at your great reserves of patience, even as I try to answer your dogmatic criticism of my own, simpler choices. I wish you well, and I hope your platform has a long and distinguished presence in the marketplace. Truly. Just don’t act resentful or surprised when someone in your family switches as soon as possible from the gear you recommended… once they realize how much effort it costs them to enjoy.



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