family, spew

On holidays with family.

Some of the best Thanksgivings I can remember over the past three decades were composed of an ad hoc collection of friends who either had no family to reconnoiter with, or who chose not to.

The meal was either wonderfully anti-traditional, pot-luck, or mutually-agreed-upon to be outsourced to a creative, fun restaurant. No kitchen-territory issues. No decades-old arguments about childhood roles. Just people relieved to have a pleasant day of eating, drinking, and laughing.

Sometimes it can be wonderful to not struggle with expectations of the few people in the world who should know and understand you far better than they actually do. It can be a lot better to pick and choose the people with whom you celebrate something.

“What are you doing for the holiday?”
“Oh, going home.”
“Your apartment?”
“No, my parents’. The usual family thing. Ugh.”
“Oh. Um, sorry?”

That’s not your home. You’re a grown-up now; you’ve made your own home. There’s a difference.

Good Thanksgiving to you all. Even the ones who are already planning how they’ll escape the family meal for a couple of hours at a local bar before returning for pie.

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