politics, spew

Some fun excerpts found in Dick Cheney’s memoirs.

Page 47: “After crushing the testicles of an Iraqi detainee’s child, I often have them served to me in a dish of buffalo sauce alongside a nice bordeaux. Exquisite.”

Page 42: “I rarely looked John Yoo in the face during legal consults on the torture thing. Reminded me too much of a Filipino nanny I’d had deported when I was seven.”

Page 116: “I won’t ever dine with Wolfowitz again, especially at fund-raisers. That pedantic, droning kike chews everything open-mouthed and keeps talking through it. It’s like watching steak tartare having intercourse.”

Page 83: “Having been invited to a late-night C-Street party, I arrived, took one look at Sam Brownback’s flabby naked ass, and called in the CDC.”

Page 202: “After the second time, I finally had all of William Kristol’s incisors pulled and replaced with dentures. I despise the scrape of teeth.”

Page 50: “Very gratified to see that research continues towards my decades-old goal of having Richard Perle’s head successfully grafted to my spine.”

Page 424: “On Wednesdays I have John Bolton brought to my Georgetown house. That pedo mustache of his makes a great toilet brush.”

Envoi: “Nixon was an unmedicated amateur.”

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